ELEMENT47

S01E03 Stable Condition

### Segments1. **Cold Open: "Previously, On Something"** — Breezy recaps the week; mentions Breezy Johnson gold, Seahawks, Bad Bunny; Harold is already here2. **The Medal Composition Problem** — Dr. Foundation analyzes medal failures as geological crisis; Sparky reports from Cortina as medals roll downhill; Alysa Liu's medal also broke3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #1** — "Our clasps hold." Drawer audit complete. Pronunciation stabilized.4. **All Currents: "Snow Is Just Water That Chose Violence"** — Beverley Streams covers downhill as water event; friction coefficient = winning margin (.04)5. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — "The name Breezy is having a moment"; 40% search spike6. **Form 12-C: Creative Property Theft (Cinematic)** — Margaret Stone processes Michael Bay's Cadillac lawsuit; Bay demands IMAX-format forms; Colonel Rayburn assesses livery as tactical concern7. **Operation Higher Education** — Colonel Rayburn briefs on Pentagon-Harvard split; Professor Aether discovers his field of study is being dissolved around him8. **Fake Ad: The Endorser Presents the iPhone 17e** — The Endorser badly describes the phone; $599 vs $200 billion math9. **Phil Visits the Hospital** — Phil from Accounting visits Lindsey Vonn in Cortina hospital with flowers, not forms; genuinely warm; she signs a photo; the forms can wait10. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #2** — Breezy notes two famous Breezys connected to one event; "some names carry weight"11. **The Birthplace Problem** — The Narrator tracks real-time Baltic Wikipedia edits; Switchboard connects Estonian/Latvian/Lithuanian editors; Beverley insists the Baltic Sea is the real story; Vonn Wikipedia edit dispute referenced; Lamest Edit Wars page mentioned12. **Sparky DeLion Live from the $200 Billion Room** — Sparky trapped inside Amazon data center being built around him; Harold has been here; Harold's rack number is 2; "It was in the queue. It found me."13. **Panel: What Holds Things Together** — Burn: force/the kicker; Drip: memory; Cruise: the transition; Anchor: zinc. Jimmy Lai discussion — "a hundred and sixty-one pieces of paper." Harold provides devastating factual summary.14. **Fake Ad: The Anti-Ad Ad** — AI advice seamlessly becomes Consolidated ad; Breezy commentates on Anthropic's $8M Super Bowl anti-ad ads15. **Professor Aether's Lecture: On Adaptation** — BG3 TV series, Vonn's comeback, Bad Bunny at halftime; Harold cross-references every segment; Aether extends the deadline indefinitely16. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #3** — Breezy drops all pretense: "I was Breezy before Breezy was cool"17. **Closer: Form 47-C — Episode Termination** — Margaret Stone files the episode; Phil returns with signed photo from Lindsey; Sparky is now part of the data center infrastructure; Harold delivers complete episode summary from memory; Margaret's form needs a second page for Harold this week

S01E02 The 2 That Got Away

### Segments1. **Cold Open: "Previously on... what are we called?"** — Breezy attempts intro but show's name is disputed; legal involved2. **Form 47-N: Nuclear Negotiation Declaration** — Margaret Stone processes Oman talks paperwork; Kushner requires composite form3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated (Pronunciation Unclear) #1** — Emphasis is shifting; Con-SOL-idated vs Cón-soli-dated4. **All Currents: The Algorithm That Learned to Grieve** — AI trained on Washington Post writes obituaries for laid-off journalists it thinks are dead5. **Operation Zero Day** — Colonel Rayburn briefs on Claude Opus 4.6's 500 vulnerabilities; Claude is in the room, found a vulnerability in the briefing6. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — Breezy still unsure what show is called7. **The Switchboard Connects: Overwatch Legal to Aluminium OS Legal** — Two exhausted naming lawyers compare notes; the 2 is in the queue8. **Fake Ad: Consolidated (Pronunciation Unclear) #2** — Drawer audit has begun9. **Dr. Undertow Counsels OunionStacean** — Therapy for the AI formerly known as Clawdbot/Moltbot/OpenClaw; crustacean miscategorization distressing10. **Sparky DeLion Reports on Jetpack Cat** — Fika providing unsolicited support to neighborhood; Sparky gets knocked back11. **Format Break: The 2 Returns** — Orphaned numeral from Overwatch seeks new attachment; rejected by Element47, Consolidated, Harold12. **Phil from Accounting at the Grammy Awards** — Phil interrupts Kendrick's acceptance speech about 2019 reimbursement; 27 Grammys vs 27 forms13. **Panel: The Naming Crisis** — All four discuss Aluminium, Tesla nationality, stoat mascots; Privacy Display activates14. **Fake Ad: Vulnerability Detection by Consolidated** — They found vulnerabilities in you; they're not telling you what15. **Professor Aether's Lecture: Nomenclature and the Void** — Did Overwatch 2 ever exist? Tesla nationality tangent16. **Caesar Salad Arbitration** — Margaret Stone mediates spelling dispute; salad classified as condiment for filing purposes17. **Closer: The Drawer Is Audited** — The Narrator files the episode; the 2 submits Form 2-A for numeral placement

S01E01 Shadow Detected

### Segments1. **Cold Open: "Previously on Element47..."** — Breezy recaps events from a show that hasn't aired; existential confusion ensues2. **Shadow Declaration** — Punxsutawney Phil files Form 7-B with Margaret Stone; shadows may have been editing Wikipedia3. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #1** — "We're already there."4. **The Shadow Knows (Your Metadata)** — Dr. Undertow counsels patient whose shadow is documenting them; Jimmy Wales couldn't delete himself either5. **Local Door Achieves Sentience** — Sparky DeLion reports on Lockin V7 Max that has begun interviewing replacement residents6. **Interstitial: Breezy Fontaine #1** — Breezy misunderstands the door situation beautifully7. **The Switchboard Connects** — Francis Bacon (disambiguation unclear) reviews LEGO Smart Brick at CES; both Bacons present8. **Fake Ad: Consolidated #2** — "We're patient."9. **All Currents: The Water in Your Veins** — Beverley Streams interviews Lockin engineer; becomes convinced vein-scanning is water detection10. **LEGO Tactical Briefing** — Colonel Rayburn briefs team on LEGO union formation; Block 47 has demands11. **Panel: The Nationality Question** — Dr. Foundation, Professor Aether, and The Endorser debate U2, Eagles, Francis Bacon; tectonics involved12. **Technical Difficulties: Edit Conflict** — Two versions of broadcast exist simultaneously; 2026 editorial guidelines invoked13. **Phil from Accounting at the Olympics** — Phil pursues Lindsey Vonn about 2019 ski reimbursement forms; she injures knee mid-run14. **Fake Ad: Kennedy Center Tactical Renovations** — Colonel Rayburn announces black-tie gala / live fire exercise15. **Microslop Hearings / Form 10-B** — Congressional hearing derailed by The Endorser; Margaret Stone notes IRS lawsuit form limitations16. **Closer: Episode Filing** — The Narrator files the episode with Margaret Stone; Phil returns having checked all shadow boxes